Featured in the Seattle Times on 06/03/2022 , and in the newspaper issue on 06/04/2022
Read this Op-Ed in the Seattle Times
Inclusion means everyone deserves same opportunities and celebrations
June 3, 2022 at 8:45 am Updated June 3, 2022 at 12:40 pm
By
Special to The Times
This Shabbat, our community will be sharing in a celebration that is both typical and unique. Like other bar mitzvah boys at Chabad of Shoreline, 13-year-old “S” will be called to the Torah. He’ll read verses from the handwritten scroll and thank God for the gift of our heritage.
What is unique is the bar mitzvah boy himself.
“S” is neurodiverse — he sees and interacts with the world differently than most of us. At times, he feels sidelined or labeled. He often struggles to be accepted for who he is.
Though he is differently abled, there’s no reason why his bar mitzvah should be anything but typical.
Unfortunately, children living with disabilities sometimes find their milestones ignored or passed over. But a bar mitzvah, for example, marks a boy’s transition into adulthood, with its responsibilities and privileges. Isn’t that transition just as important for “S” as it is for other children his age?
Inclusion doesn’t just mean making our surroundings more accessible. It means recognizing that everyone deserves the same opportunities and celebrations.
Not long ago, I came across a teaching from the Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, of righteous memory, the most influential rabbi in modern history. It resonated with me in particular as I got to know “S.”
The Rebbe, born in Ukraine in 1902, arrived in America from Nazi-occupied Europe in the ‘40s. In 1950 he assumed leadership of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement, sparking Judaism’s global post-Holocaust revival. Over the decades of his leadership, the widest range of people would seek out the Rebbe’s counsel, from statesmen to lay people.
The Rebbe would often stress the unique potential of every single individual, no matter his or her perceived limitations, and encourage them to reach deep down into their own selves and positively change the world around them. Since the Rebbe’s passing in 1994, countless more people have learned and been inspired by his teachings.
Once, in 1976, a large group of wounded Israeli Defense Force veterans came to New York as part of a special trip for the “Disabled of Israel.” They visited the Rebbe, who greeted them warmly. When he addressed the group, he explained that he preferred the term “Disabled of Israel” not be used. “Disabled,” he said, implied inferiority. But the men who sat before him were not inferior. God, in his wisdom, had distinguished each of them with unique qualities and abilities with which to overcome challenges most people could not fathom.
“I therefore suggest to change this term [the disabled], and call them the ‘distinguished’,” the Rebbe said.
The casual observer might have seen young people robbed of limbs by war. But the Rebbe saw pure, holy souls brought to this world for a reason, with a mission no one else could accomplish.
It is a fundamental approach we must all strive to emulate.
When I met “S,” it was clear that his incredibly supportive family took the Rebbe’s approach to heart. As advocates for educational inclusion, his mother collaborated with nonprofit organization The Arc to create Lunch Brunch for Jewish Parents, a support group championing a truly inclusive society for all the children in our communities.
As his bar mitzvah approached, it was clear that his would be no less joyous or important for him and his family. Our bar mitzvah lessons focused on his unique gifts and talents. His memory is phenomenal, and he quickly grasped what he would be reading aloud in front of the congregation. He proved that everyone can accomplish their goals if given the tools and support to get there.
“S” will not be defined by what he cannot do. He will be defined by the unique gifts he can offer the world.
And this weekend, he will accomplish the first goal he set out to achieve as part of his entry into Jewish adulthood.
He will be called to the Torah at Chabad of Shoreline in a very typical bar mitzvah — for a unique young man.
Sadya Davidoff is a rabbi and co-director at the Chabad Jewish Center of Shoreline, a Jewish organization that offers educational, religious, and social services to the local community.